If anyone who logs into this site could kindly tell my boss that I need to be writing in this blog rather than cataloguing trial evidence, I’d be very appreciative. If you happen to know my fiance Natalie Flores and have her contact information, let her know that I’m at least half-finished with everything she asked me to do this week even though I haven’t started it yet. Tell her not to worry about it. Tell her it’ll get done, it’ll get done. Pat her on the head.
Meanwhile, I’m going to write about something that should probably be posted on this blog, which is my other ambitious project that I have been planning for about two years but has yet to “gel”. The idea with ‘Jackstories’ (which should actually be titled ‘Jackstories part Dieux’ for those who remember the original Jackstories, excerpts of which will re-published in this space mainly because I don’t have to time to consistently post new material) and the idea with my other blog, The Global Thinker, is that since I’m not actually traveling beyond my neighborhood liquor store these days (at least not until this coming August…stay tuned for a bloggy roller coaster!), I can only adequately continue the travel theme by reading various international magazines and commenting on the material found therein. Let’s call it “News from the Armchair Traveler.” I should rename this site immediately.
In fact, as soon as I’m finished with this entry, I’m going to change the blog caption.
Anyhow. Check this out. This is something I read in the Economist the other day while on the train. Let me say, before I go on, that one can look really cool in a dollars-and-cents kind of way by reading the Economist in public places. The coolness pierces several public strata; you’re ‘distinguished’ to those who don’t ever read that particular magazine because they think you’re reading about economics–they think you’re financially smart, an intelligent financier (unfortunately, this brand makes you incredibly uncool to hipsters and retro-hippies, for financiers are REALLY not cool no matter how much money they have. Money isn’t hip…and I won’t now launch into a hipster-money-paradox diatribe. That’s just too many consecutive tangents). For people who have read the Economist before, you’re pretty cool in an internationally intriguing kind of way. And to people who subscribe to the Economist, you’re in the nerd club. You’re nerd cool.
Having said all of that, the Economist is not the end-all of international news. But it’s cool because it packs so MUCH of what’s going on globally into such a small space. Read two issues of the Economist cover to cover and you’ll be current with virtually every major political or social event in the world.
So back to what I was reading about. This concerns China and Tibet. You may or may not know that China is having serious problems with Tibet at the moment; or more accurately, Tibet is having serious problems with China. I offer this caveat because I’m an International Relations student, and in one of my classes the issue of Tibet came up after things over there had been boiling for more than a week, maybe two. “What’s going on in Tibet?” I asked. I think there was a record scratch and the professor just looked at me and kind of raised her eyebrows. I think I’m definitely going to get a B in that class now.
But this year, Tibet has been calling for indepenence again, probably…no, definitely because the Olympics are coming up in Beijing and this is their big chance to get global attention focused on their desire to secede from China. There is a whole ‘right to secession’ discussion that could take place about when a state or province of a country has a legitimate argument for secession. Most international observers would probably support Tibet’s secession from China. People wearing those ”Free Tibet” t-shirts would certainly be among them. But the conversation is hypothetical because China isn’t going to let it happen – President Bush would sooner allow Oregon to secede from the US.
China asserts that the Dalai Lama, who is now living in exile in India, is behind the Tibetan uprising (so far, the uprising has consisted of riots, which may or may not have been violent, and which may or may not have resulted in as many as 140 Tibetan deaths at the hands of the Chinese police. We don’t know the specifics because the Chinese police have physically prevented reporters from getting too close. All the New York Times has to go on, at the moment, is he-said, she-said accounts from Tibetan monks and Chinese police. This is unbelievable to me considering that journalists have been getting themselves blown up and shot by the dozen to provide accurate coverage in Iraq. Journalists are relentless, you’d think they’d find a way. Those Chinese blockades must really be something.)
Reporter: “Excuse me sir, I need to go down this street to see what is happening over there.”
Chinese cop: “Forget it. If you go anywhere near there we’ll shoot you.”
Reporter: “Can I quote you on that?”
Chinese cop: “Ok, sure. Write it down. I said ’I have to keep you away in order to protect your safety.’”
Anyway, back to the Dalai Lama. Get a load of this, I had to read it three times. Apparently – I’m really going to butcher this now, so please correct me if necessary – if/when the Dalai Lama dies, he will be reincarnated into another human being somewhere on Earth. I’m assuming it’s usually in Tibet, although I’ll also assume that if he’d rather be re-born somewhere else because, say, Tibet is not such a safe place for a new Dalai Lama, he can be reincarnated elsewhere (I need to research this). The spiritual leader of the Tibetans exists eternally in this way; every time he dies, he pops up again in a different body. It’s a beautiful thing, really. Try as you might with whatever terrible means you may think of, you can’t ever kill the Dalai Lama. It’s impossible. This is a familiar religious theme. The Chinese government has come to realize this, and so now they’re trying a new tactic. They are quite threatened by the Dalai Lama, as he is a beacon for his followers and a source of strength and inspiration for them. In addition, he’s internationally respected and has the ear of the U.N. and some major international players, including the U.S. The Chinese have asserted that the Dalai Lama is behind the latest uprising, leading it from afar – sort of the way a Mafia leader might run operations from within a prison cell. So here’s the new tactic. Ready for this? The Chinese government is going to write up an edict that states that it has the authority to choose who the new reincarnation of the Dalai Lama will be. Seriously.
I mean, the Economist has published some bold statements before that seem suspect to me, in a hokey kind of way, but they’re stating a fact here, not an opinion. We have to assume their facts are legitimate. And I had to look up from the magazine, while sitting on the train, with my face contorted into a WHAT?, which I saw reflected in the window across from me.
So let me get this straight. The government has a problem with the Dalai Lama. They realize that, even if they could send an assassin into India to expose him to plutonium or whatever, he would just pop up somewhere else and the Tibetans would get their leader right back. Tibetans, in this way, will never be without a focal point for their religious and social unity. So, to solve the problem, they’ll just get on the phone to God or Buddha in this case, and say “Um, yes, we’re calling to let you know that we’ll be relieving you of your ability to insert the Dalai Lama’s soul into the next body…yeah, we’ll be taking that over for you…yes, that’s correct…yes, well, you see, we don’t really like the bodies you’ve been choosing lately…we’re going to write up our new power in a formal document and inform the masses…” They really are going to declare this privelege, and they will legitimately expect Tibetans to believe it and accept it as true. And then they’ll choose some Chinese government loyalist in a Dalai Lama costume, and that will be the end of the Tibetan uprisings?
And here’s how they’re going to communicate this newfound power: they’ll be sending it to the masses in a text message. Tibetans have recently been receiving text messages from the government, which is trying to dispell what it claims are false rumors. I don’t know about you, but if I start getting text messages from the US government I’ll join some militia in Wyoming.
Look, I know it’s fad to be against the Chinese government. People have been wearing those “Free Tibet, Man” tee-shirts since I was a kid. I don’t want to hop that bandwagon, per se. We’re going to have to learn to get comfortable with China, it’s not going anywhere. But that article is really something, isn’t it?
